How to write a great first message on a dating site

The easiest way to start a conversation with anyone new is to ask a question, so include one. Tailor it to their interests or their work, or even one of their photos. A good first message is sweet, and short.

6 Dos and Don’ts When Writing the First Online Dating Message

One hundred words is about right: Just aim to get a conversation going. As they say in showbiz, leave them wanting more. Similarly, if you claim to love your job but the time stamp on your message says you sent it at 9. Stick to neutral hours, like lunchtimes and early evening. Ideally, write it before you leave the house to do something interesting.

Single Steve / How to Write the Perfect First Message - Single Steve

Have fun writing your messages, and enjoy the process of meeting someone new. For more helpful tips head over to our advice pages or blog!

This is the perfect time of year to get serious about your quest for love. With so many exciting potential partners at your fingertips your.

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X Liked this article? These are two screen shots already submitted! Meaning I have objectives that I try to meet with each message that I send. How I demonstrate I actually took the time to read her profile is by commenting on something specific mentioned in her profile DUH. I loved 6 th grade so much, I took it twice! Mentioning shared interest helps create the buy in, she needs to relate to you. I once dressed up as Luke Skywalker for 6 months straight, prior to the release of the Star Wars: Start a conversation The goal is for her to respond back to you right?

Well in order for that to happen, you have to ask her questions.

Preferably, open ended questions, in regards to her profile. She will be more likely to respond if you ask her about something mentioned in her profile, as opposed to a random question you want answered. Are you currently training for another run? How many kids do you want? How many sexual partners have you had?

There absolutely is, that one girl that is an egotistical maniac that loves hearing stuff like that from strangers on the internet. But for the most part, to most women on dating websites, it comes off as corny, creepy and repetitive. It should be short, concise and have questions, so she can have the opportunity to respond. But believe it or not I actually re-read my messages many times, checking for spelling and grammatical errors.

Here are a few screen shots of a few of the last messages I sent out. Also, I assume what I write actually matters.


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  5. Exactly What To Say In A First Message?

I assume that I should actually be TRYING to write a quality message because the content of the message is actually going to be read and weighed in the decision process of whether or not she will be responding back to me. Be honest, does it fucking matter? I wonder how many good, lasting relationships started with a copy and pasted message he sent to 15 other women that same night.

You were just a number in his numbers game, he just happened to be attractive. God, I hated online dating because of that crap. Your messages are nice. Well then you must be a bitch. Guys are the worst. Your messages were respond-worthy, and I always take the time to actually…. I do believe I could write a book about the bizarre experiences and people I met. Feedback on your messages: I actually looked it up just to be sure.

First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs

Please continue to be a conscientious dater and instruct others. I have single friends out there who would like to find a good one. I hope I spelled that long word right. But when I do, I delete that shit with the quickness. Remember that time I messaged you on okcupid and I told you to get hit by a bus? Oh dear, if only this had been posted before I quit online dating.

Your messages were really good Steve, thoughtful and sounds like you took the time to tell them stuff you have in common. You will find a great girl, I know it! I totally agree with your advice Steve. They all are interesting and the ones I choose would seem cool-only if they would respond!


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  • First Message Online Dating Formula That Works (With Examples) - Beyond Ages;
  • I guess the only flaw is that you should ask at most 2 questions. Your site is funny and true, btw. You may not realize it, but you have at least one spelling or grammar error on each of your messages. You want to sound fun, not formulaic. You have an MBA, right? Online dating is an exercise in marketing. What is your target demographic?