What is it like dating a japanese girl

How to date amazing Japanese women | International Love

No longer was I in control of my relationship with Japan; now I tended to feel more like a prisoner in a relationship with a foreign culture from which I could not escape. The only way I could truly enjoy and develop my love for Japan, I concluded, was by excluding my love life from that cultural relationship. Let me take you back to the beginning, though, when in my mids I came to study and live in Japan as a graduate student. Like so many other Western men in Japan, I soon discovered that at the age of 25 I was dating a drop-dead gorgeous Japanese girl of such loveliness that I had to pinch myself to believe she could be interested in my shabbily dressed self.

Having endured undergraduate years in England where I was barely able to find a girlfriend of any description, this sudden transformation of fortunes should perhaps have been enough to have immediately made me seal the deal with the heavenly Japanese girlfriend, who was only too keen to settle down together. But somehow I dithered, feeling correctly that my romantic career was only just beginning. There were several reasons why I started losing interest in dating Japanese women, but the main one was my deepening involvement with Japanese culture.

By then I felt quite comfortable — indeed, slightly bored — in an exclusively Japanese world. I was spending all week in university libraries, taxing my brain, reading Japanese books. I wanted to head off to the bars and clubs of downtown Osaka and hang out with exciting girls from all over the world.

1. Approaching A Japanese Woman

And there were so many of them! My feisty Korean girlfriend was a constant source of cultural bewilderment to me, exploding into a fury if I did not fulfill her strange demands — she once took off a stiletto and hurled it across a train station foyer at me — and yet suddenly switched to mawkish tenderness. After all the excitement of these girlfriends, my periodic return to the arms of Japanese girlfriends seemed like interludes of Zen-like stillness.

And yet pursuing a relationship with someone from another East Asian country was never really an option — I was too devoted to my studies in Japan to have time for another major cultural commitment. I found my New World girlfriends exciting and stimulating and yet never mentally tiring or a distracting cultural commitment. I enjoyed halcyon years of flying home to the U.

The New World girlfriend, I concluded, was the perfect match for me.


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I found that the nationality of the girl I was dating greatly affected my mental mood and how I thought about things. Japanese girlfriends, for example, were nearly always quite keen on the idea of moving back to the U. But I, in contrast, was always keen to remain firmly established in Japan. On the other hand, when I returned to the U. But my romantic wanderings, modest as they were, eventually reached a conclusion when I met my Australian girl in Osaka.

A sizable part of her appeal — her openness, fun, lack of airs and inhibitions — lies in the Australian inside her calling out to me.

TOKYO (2 a.m.)

I wanted to have a separate life in Britain that was unconnected to Japan — I wanted to be in control of my relationship with Japan, to stop and start it as I pleased. I was, I liked to tell myself, a citizen of the world, not a slave and spokesman of Japanese culture. In my Australian partner, I have connected to worlds I would have never otherwise have known, of school years in the beating heat and sun-burned earth of provincial New South Wales.

On a daily basis I find something expansive and liberating about living in the same house as someone brought up on a continent on the other side of the world so climactically different to my own soggy island of Britain. And yet, crucially also, this is a relationship that allows me to pursue, without distraction, a great passion of my life: My Australian alliance is not a rejection of Japan; rather, it is that which daily enables me to devote much of my energy, without flagging or a feeling of oppression, towards Japan.

It is ironic for me — lover of an Australian woman — that I constantly feel lukewarm about traveling to Australia itself, a country I often prefer in fond imagination than long-haul, sweltering reality. I can appreciate the year-old zeitgeist of the Summer of Love, although Woodstock happened before I was born. And while having many years ago retired from dating Japanese women, my love affair with Japan grows stronger every year.

Due to their inbred politeness, they are pretty good at hiding their emotions, even when they find themselves in a difficult situation or in the middle of a serious conversation with which they may not agree. But, remember, when in Japan you should always be polite! The work ethic of Japanese men and women is to work hard, especially in the capital, which, in the New York City style, never sleeps.

Coming from this background, your beautiful Japanese woman will expect you to have the same attitude.


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This is great, because if you happen to be a career-driven workaholic, your partner will absolutely accept the situation and give you all the support she can. Gender roles in a relationship with a Japanese girl. In the past, Japan was a country that traditionally believed in different roles for different genders. Neo-Confucianism defined all social roles in terms of hierarchical relationships; including the domination of men over women, when married, and the father was dominant over the children.

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Dating A Japanese Woman: What’s It Really Like?!

And, outside the home, Japanese women were subordinate in nearly all legal, political and social contexts. For example, they were not permitted to enter certain sacred spaces and, in some communities, were not allowed onboard fishing vessels.

Sounds like a funny story? Over the past few decades, many of these rules, regulations, customs and prohibitions have been scrapped, although there still exists a law excluding women in Japan from sumo wrestling events!

It’s Complicated: Companionship Dating In Japan

However, Japanese women are still fairly submissive, and respect their menfolk — a trait that western men find very attractive when they start dating a girl from this amazing country. Many years ago the man of the house represented the family as far as the outside world was concerned, while his woman exercised overall control of what happened at home on a daily basis. Nowadays, especially when equipped with a good education, the sublime women of Japan will readily accept the values of an open western culture.

When dating a woman from Japan, you need to know that she will be looking for a good, kind, respectable man with whom to have a child at a later stage if all goes well. These views come from a time when parents used to choose the best match for their daughter, but nowadays, especially with the advent of the internet, the world of dating is much more open.

Recent changes, such as advances in communication and social websites, have brought about a new era of freedom for Japanese people, and especially for Japanese women. Free and single girls from Japan who are actively looking for a partner are looking for more than just a casual date. They are usually searching for a serious, well-informed, hard-working man who has good status and will therefore be on an equal footing with her own aspirations. Your Japanese date will be great fun to share precious moments with, smiles, laughter and friendly conversation.

And, when not busily reading these publications, the people of Japan love to visit all the beautiful places in their stunning country — revered temples and gardens, tea rooms and the snow-topped Mount Fuji.

They also enjoy theatre, cinema and rock and classical concerts. Hmm — good question, and not so easy to answer.

Tips on Attracting a JAPANESE WOMAN

And, should you have something negative to say, work out the best way to say what you really mean. While it can sometimes be quite difficult for people from different cultures, such as those found in Canada, the United States or the UK, to meet and mingle with people from the far east, remember that politeness is all important. However, if you stick to the basic rules and portray yourself in a genuine manner, you will get to meet a wonderful, respectful, loyal lady Unsure about Japanese women?

Never mind, you can meet people from other cultures. How to date a woman from Japan? How do I get a Japanese woman to like me? You will need to prepare and post a great dating profile , which should include two or three tasteful photos of yourself.